29/12/2025
I just went to Japan for work and had the opportunity to stay there for a whole week after as a vacation. Going to Japan was kind of a dream I had that I thought I could never achieve but hey spmehow it happened.
I spent most of my time in Tokyo and from what I had seen online, Tokyo was potrayed as this modern city that never sleeps, so I expected excitement and liveliness. But I feel like I've never felt more lonely. I mean it would be very exciting if you were there to SPEND MONEY! But that is so depressing. Being there for 2 weeks and going out nearly every night, I managed to observe the life of people around, and they were always so tired and sad and only minded their own business. Nobody talked to me, nobody talked to each other, nobody was smiling, it made me realize how fun my everyday life was compared to them.
Like most guys in their 20s, I'm a fan of Japanese culture. But I wouldn't call myself a typical weeb cuz I just like some of their media franchises (Pokemon, Gundam, Evangelion, Monster Hunter along with a few anime series and mangas, typical stuff) and not interested/not updated on any of the new stuff (hehe I'm so niche and hipster and cool). So coming to Japan I expected there to be a lot of merchandise and goodies for me to buy, so much so that I wouldn't be able to afford everything and having to choose. But that wasn't really the case. Yes there were a lot of shops and a lot of merchandise but they were all kind of 'just okay'. While there were a lot of stuff, they were all either 1. catering towards new series 2. low quality 3. very big and/or expensive 4. also available in Vietnam/not having the 'special sauce' that would remind me of the trip. And the thing is 90% of the things you'll see in anime oriented shops will be the same. They're all the same figures of the same characters from the same shows. If you were expecting to find LOTS OF hidden gems, you won't find that many, at least in Tokyo, most merchandise are like most other comodities, mass produced and of acceptible quality. Adding to that is the resentment I started to have towards consumerism in Tokyo, with it being so fast and fun and exciting and loud and stores being the only place where people would smile to me. It was such a stark contrast to the normal people around me that it seemed so artificial and evil. After the trip I realized that most of my money was spent on transportation and gifts for my friends and family, the only things I got for myself were zines and t-shirts from Tokyo Art Bookk Fair (my 'work'), a fountain pen at a flea market and some trinkets/stickers.
The best part about this trip is definitely that I made some new friends! And this sound very cringe but I felt like I have made like REAL friends. I've also realized that I've been insecure in my relationships with the people I've met the last few years since moving to Hồ Chí Minh City for uni. Like because I've met most of the people around me through other people, they've always be subconsciously seen as 'A's friend', like not 'my friend', as I myself wasn't the reason they hang out with me or they just simply did't care about me that much. But on this trip, I met some very cool people, again through another friend, but we had such a fun and geniune time toghether that I realized that they just liked me. The few evenings I spent with them are the best thing that happened on this trip. If you guys are reading this you know who you are. Thank you.
Weirdly, somehow this whole trip got me to experience the 'male loneliness' feeling. Like most of the time that I wasn't working I was alone, wondering around without anyone noticing me. And the whole time I just wanted to hang out with my new friends, but we couldn't because they still got work and school and I was to shy to asked them to spend time with me cuz they were too cool and I'm awkward and stuff. So yeah throughout the 2 weeks I was in a constant state of feeling lonely, being alone and craving human interaction from both random people on the street (being noticed) and specific people but not having the ability/courage to ask them. I've understood this experience before in theory, but experiencing it first hand really brings it home.
After Tokyo I spent a few days in Osaka and Kyoto (very touristy I know). Overall, I enjoyed these two cities much more than Tokyo. They were more lively and the quiet places actually had nature or something still happening on, not just housing blocks. They were a lot of tourists here tho and since it was nearing Christmas then, the shopping places (which there were still a lot of) were so crowded. But at least there was chatter and people were actually having fun.
So how do I feel about my trip? I kinda hate Tokyo now. If I had the chance to ever visit Japan again I wouldn't go alone and would spend my time travelling around the whole country, or at least the more rural areas, and visit more nature and historic sites. Initially I wanted to visit Hiroshima on this trip but didn't want to pay for an extra shinkansen ticket so I opted out, I really regret that. But as I've said, I'll still remember fondly the new friends that I've made on this trip. I'll have to somehow drag the out of Tokyo tho.
Oh and the Kaiyukan Aquarium in Osaka is great! Definitely worth the 3-hour wait under the rain.